This week struck a chord with me because I recently had my baby last quarter. Before I was pregnant I loved working. I planned on working as soon as I had my baby and have my husband stay home or work part time. I never planned to give up working, which has always been the most important thing to me. I love working. Even if I have the crappiest job ever, I love making money. When I was pregnant, however, my husband joined the Army.
After my son was born, he went into boot camp. Now, I'm on my own, playing at being a single mom while struggling to learn how to juggle school and a new baby. I never wanted children and my husband and I had agreed that he would take care of the baby while I took time to regain myself after being pregnant. People ask how I like being a mom. This question confuses me because I don't think about it as whether you like it or not. To me, there is no liking or disliking. I am a mom. Why would I not like who and what I am? It's hard, but it's supposed to be. Every woman in the history of the world who has transcended to motherhood has felt the hardship to be a mom. I fail to see how moping about not liking motherhood is going to make me or my baby any happier.
As for settling into traditional roles, yes that has happened to an extent, but not for long. As soon as my husband is stationed somewhere, I am getting a job that is an opposite shift of him. I need to work or I'm not happy. I don't feel equal in a relationship where I don't make money. Taking care of a child, in my eyes, is not as important as making money. I don't want to stay home and would rather limit the amount of time I have with my son so that I appreciate the time I do have with him. I love my son, but until he actually starts walking, talking and generally doing anything remotely interesting, he's like a puppy I have to bottle feed every two hours.
In today's society I don't think it's accepted to be a stay at home mom/dad. I've seen the look on some people's faces when I say I'm just going to school. It's frowned upon to not be a working parent. Just like breast feeding in public is frowned upon. How are women supposed to breast feed if they aren't encouraged to nurse in public? Are you supposed to hole yourself up at home so people don't see your nipple? Hide in the bathroom to nurse your baby because it's rude to do something natural in front of people if you run out of pumped milk?
I know when I had my son, the hospital instantly gave me a plastic nipple to go over mine. My baby never nursed off me because all he knew was the plastic. If I tried, he'd just sit there and cry until I gave him a plastic nipple. From the get go, the hospital ruined my chances of breast feeding. They had me pumping and giving it to him through a bottle before I even had a chance to try natural. We are raising our children on plastic and preservatives despite it being well known that breastfeeding highers our IQs. But it doesn't really higher our IQ's does it? No, that is our IQ naturally. Bottle feeding lowers our IQ. We are raising more and more babies with less intelligence.
Breastfeeding in public is such a controversial topic. Which I find ridiculous. Breastfeeding is natural and extremely beneficial to both the child and mother. I think its asinine that woman feel the need to cast themselves away to feed their baby. I am not the most modest person, I personally could have cared less. If I was out in public and my daughter was hungry, I fed her. I got many ugly looks and even had friends or family comment on how I shouldn't be doing that in public. If my child was hungry, the last thing I was concerned about is if other people were uncomfortable. Its just a boob.
ReplyDeleteIt is ridiculous that women are not expected to breastfeed. It is a natural thing and should be encouraged. A friend of mine was asked to leave a store for breastfeeding with a sarong over her chest. I was shocked. Nothing was visible!
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